NÃO SOU MAIS VIRGEM. E AGORA? | Por Kristen Clark

Jana era nova no grupo de jovens e parecia ter construído um ímã para cada rapaz que conhecia ela. Ela era bonita, mas muito tranquila, o que criou instantaneamente intriga e curiosidade em todos os rapazes que a viam.

Seus pais não eram fãs de ela ter um namorado até que ela fosse mais velha, por isso ela não levava a sério nenhum desses caras. Até que ela conheceu Nate. Nate era o filho mais novo do pastor e não a “perseguiu” como o resto dos rapazes. Isso criou curiosidade e intriga em Jana e ela tornou-se secretamente determinada a adicionar a atenção dele em sua lista.  Dentro de uma semana eles eram amigos. Nate não era o que a maioria das meninas considerava atraente, mas ele tinha uma personalidade contagiante que envolveu Jana e a cativou. Jana começou a sonhar em como seria ter Nate como namorado e imaginou quão excitante seria ir a encontros com ele.

Não muito tempo depois, Nate e Jana descobriram um plano secreto para se encontrarem sem que ninguém percebesse. Eles disseram a seus pais que estavam saindo com um grupo de amigos, mas secretamente saíam sozinhos. Uma mentira leva a outra, um compromisso ao outro, e dentro de seis meses Nate e Jana tinham dado sua virgindade um ao outro.

Instantaneamente chocada com o que tinha feito, Jana estava muito envergonhada e constrangida de dizer a seus pais. Ela chorou até dormir à noite com um milhão de perguntas que atravessavam sua mente.

“Eu valho alguma coisa agora?”
“Deus pode me perdoar?”
“Será que um homem de Deus nunca vai querer se casar comigo?”
“É possível ter um futuro puro?”
“Como faço para me recuperar dessa?”

Jana lutou com perguntas como estas e muitas mais.
Você já se sentiu como Jana?

Estamos continuamente recebendo e-mails de meninas cristãs assim como Jana e elas estão fazendo as mesmas perguntas .

Temos escrito muitos posts sobre os temas de pureza e guardar o sexo para o casamento… mas e sobre as meninas cristãs que perderam a virgindade? E sobre as meninas que já estão do outro lado da cerca?
E agora?

É exatamente para resolver isso que este post está aqui.

Seja você uma garota solteira que perdeu a virgindade, ou seja você ainda virgem, este post será benéfico para você. Também será um grande recurso para encaminhar a quaisquer amigas que precisam de esperança.

Nossa cultura diz que não é um grande problema perder a virgindade antes do casamento, mas eles esquecem de mencionar as letras pequenas do contrato.
Goste a cultura ou não, eles não escreveram o livro de regras.

Deus é o autor, desenhista e criador do sexo, e Ele escreveu o manual. Contrariamente à opinião popular, ele não criou para ser arremessado, dado a um namorado, ou usado para preencher um vazio (Gênesis 2:24).

Deus criou o sexo para ser usado em UM contexto e um contexto somente – casamento (entre um homem e uma mulher, devo acrescentar). Fora desse contexto, sempre haverá consequências (Hebreus 13:14). Vemos isso nas milhares de jovens cristãs (e homens) que estão lutando com vergonha, culpa, depressão, insegurança, e medo como resultado de “amor despertado antes do seu tempo” (Provérbios 5:15).

Se você é uma menina solteira que doou a sua virgindade, você vai colher algumas consequências indesejáveis do seu pecado; mas toda a esperança não está perdida para o seu futuro.

Um passado quebrado não significa um futuro quebrado. Como qualquer pecado, a Bíblia te oferece a liberdade e um futuro restaurado se você seguir o plano de Deus. Ao tomar as medidas adequadas de confissão, arrependimento e perdão, você pode restaurar o seu futuro.
Embora você nunca vá recuperar a sua virgindade, você pode recuperar a sua esperança.
Eu sei de uma mulher cristã que deu sua virgindade quando adolescente, mas, em seguida, seguiu os passos da Bíblia para a liberdade e passou a viver uma vida abundante para Cristo. Ela se casou com um pastor e agora trabalha em um ministério cristão maravilhoso.
Louve a Deus porque Ele restaura as coisas!

Se você é uma menina solteira que doou a sua virgindade e você gostaria de encontrar esperança para o seu futuro, fazer as oito etapas a seguir é um ótimo jeito de começar .

1. Confesse seu pecado a Deus.
O primeiro passo para superar o seu pecado passado é confessá-lo a Deus. Ore e sinceramente confesse seu pecado a Deus e verbalmente reconheça a Ele que você desobedeceu a Sua Palavra e pecou contra Ele.

Eu também te exorto a confessar seu pecado a seu pai ou mãe, líder piedoso, ou mentor de confiança. Como um jovem adulto, você provavelmente desobedeceu seus pais com suas ações, então confessar seu pecado para eles é essencial no processo de recuperação. Tiago 5:16 diz: “Portanto, confessem os seus pecados uns aos outros e orai uns pelos outros, para que vocês possam ser curados.”

2. Peça a Deus para te perdoar.
Depois de ter confessado seus pecados, peça perdão a Deus. Se você for sincera, Ele promete te dar o perdão completo. 1 João 1:9 diz: ” Se confessarmos os nossos pecados, ele é fiel e justo para nos perdoar os pecados e nos purificar de toda injustiça.” Você entendeu essa última parte? Deus é fiel para purificar de toda injustiça. Que promessa de esperança!

3. Arrependa-se de seu pecado e mude suas ações.
Depois de confessar abertamente os seus pecados e pedir a Deus para te perdoar, o próximo passo é se arrepender. Na Bíblia, a palavra arrepender-se, literalmente, significa “mudar de ideia.” Você precisa conscientemente mudar de ideia sobre a sua visão do sexo e certificar-se de que suas crenças estão alinhadas com Deus. A Bíblia também nos diz que o verdadeiro arrependimento resultará em uma mudança de ações (Lucas 3: 8-14; Atos 3:19). Deste ponto em diante, suas ações devem refletir uma menina que está se esforçando para ter pureza.

4. Encontre a raiz do seu erro.
Ter relações sexuais fora do casamento geralmente é apenas um sintoma de um problema muito mais profundo. Você precisa examinar sua vida e se perguntar: “onde foi que eu errei?”

Qual foi o seu principal problema?
– Você estava em rebelião?
– O seu relacionamento com Deus era fraco ou inexistente?
– Você não entendeu as instruções de Deus em relação ao sexo?
– Você cedeu à pressão dos amigos?
– Você escolheu um mau namorado?
– Você estava em um relacionamento secreto?
– Você não tem limites morais em sua vida?
– Você estava confusa sobre o significado do amor?
– Você queria “sentir” como se alguém realmente te amasse?
– Um livro de romance/filme te seduziu a ser sexualmente ativa?
– Outras coisas?

Será que alguma das razões acima contribuem para você errar? Se assim for, não cometa esses mesmos erros novamente. São as pequenas coisas que lentamente nos conduzem para grandes pecados. Encontre a raiz dos seus problemas e ataque as questões centrais. Tome melhores decisões no futuro para que você não colha as mesmas consequências.

5. Corte más influências.
Quer se trate de um namorado ruim, grupo de amigos, amigos do Facebook, amigos do snapchat, filmes ruins, músicas ruins, livros ruins, revistas ruins, etc, eu altamente te incentivo a retirá-los. Nada vai te puxar para baixo mais rapidamente do que más influências em sua vida. Sei que isso pode parecer extremo para você, mas situações extremas exigem medidas extremas (Mateus 5:29). Isto é essencial para andar em liberdade duradoura.

6. Criar limites em sua vida.
Este é um passo muito importante a tomar. Tantas garotas bem-intencionadas se encontram em um ciclo louco de cometer os mesmos grandes erros uma e outra vez. Se você sinceramente seguiu os passos 1 a 5, a etapa 6 é uma OBRIGAÇÃO.

Sem limites em sua vida, você é como um treinador de esportes que não dá direção à sua equipe. Sem um plano de jogo e um objetivo, os jogadores são deixados para descobrirem as coisas por conta própria. Isso raramente resulta em uma vitória. Sua vida funciona da mesma maneira.

Com a ajuda de um pai, líder piedoso, ou mentor sábio, crie um conjunto de limites e orientações que irão ajudá-la a ter sucesso (ou seja, eu nunca estarei sozinha com um cara, eu não vou beijar outro cara até o casamento, eu não vou ficar fora até tarde nos finais de semana, etc.).

7. Procure prestar contas.
Uma vez que você criar limites, você vai precisar segui-los para ser bem sucedida. Voar sozinha nunca é uma boa ideia. Peça a uma mulher cristã piedosa para que você possa prestar contas a ela dos seus limites. Mostre-lhe a sua lista e agende acompanhamento por telefonemas ou pessoalmente semanal ou mensalmente.

Isso pode ser difícil para você no começo, mas você precisa ser corajosa o suficiente para fazer o que for preciso para ter vitória. Se libertar do seu pecado não vai ser fácil no início… é por isso que uma parceira de “prestação de contas” é necessário. Elas serão o seu botão de “alerta” quando você chegar perto da beira da estrada.

8. Encha sua mente com a verdade.
Durante os últimos (porém muitos) anos você provavelmente tem enchido sua mente com mensagens do mundo sobre o amor e romance. É hora de cortar o mau dessas influências e encher a sua mente com a verdade de Deus. Eu te incentivo bastante a fazer uma pesquisa no Google sobre o que a Bíblia diz sobre o casamento, pureza e sexualidade. Leia esses versículos uma e outra vez.

Além disso, eu altamente te incentivo a obter uma cópia de um, ou todos os seguintes livros:
– E a noiva vestiu branco por Dannah Gresh.
– Meet Mr. Smith: Revolutionize the Way You Think about Sex, Purity, and Romance por Eric e Leslie Ludy.
– Sexo não é problema (Lascívia, sim) por Joshua Harris.

Se você está certa sobre encontrar a liberdade de seu pecado de sexo antes do casamento, então eu não posso exortá-la o suficiente a seguir essas oito etapas em seu coração.
Agora, eu sei que cada situação é diferente e algumas são mais complicadas do que outras. Então, eu também a incentivo a buscar algum aconselhamento sábio de uma mulher de Deus em sua área específica.

As consequências do sexo fora do casamento podem ser muito complicadas de se resolver às vezes (gravidez, doenças, relacionamentos quebrados, etc.) e eu não posso resolver tudo em um post. É por isso que uma mulher sábia em sua área local será essencial para ajudar você a recuperar seu futuro.

Para encerrar este artigo, eu quero deixar alguns pensamentos encorajadores finais.
Não importa onde você está e o que você fez no seu passado, Deus vai perdoá-la se você pedir a Ele. Sua vida está liberta do pecado e a minha também. Todos nós precisamos desesperadamente de Deus para nos ajudar todos os dias.

Satanás quer prendê-la em sentimentos de inutilidade, depressão e desespero, mas não fique presa lá! Você pode ser restaurada e você pode andar em liberdade do seu pecado passado.
Deus nunca desiste de nós.

Você ainda tem a oportunidade de casar com um homem piedoso algum dia. Você ainda tem a oportunidade de ser usada por Deus de maneira poderosa. Você ainda tem a oportunidade de ter um futuro puro a partir deste dia em diante.

“Ele vai lhe dar uma coroa de beleza para cinzas, uma bênção alegre em vez de luto, o louvor festivo em vez de desespero. Em sua justiça, eles serão como grandes carvalhos que o Senhor plantou para a Sua própria glória.”
Isaías 61:3

Espero que este post tenha sido útil e encorajador para você! Eu sei que este foi um assunto pesado, mas eu oro para que lhe dê a esperança que Deus promete para o seu futuro.

Estou torcendo por você, garota!

Esse texto é uma tradução de um artigo original escrito por Kristen Clark publicado originalmente no Blog “Girl Defined” traduzido pelo blog Inconformados.

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