VENCENDO A SI MESMO | Testemunho por Bianca Toledo

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Eu me lembro exatamente como foi a primeira vez que tentei ficar de pé depois de muitos meses de coma, paralisia e vida mantida por máquinas. Não havia um lugar em mim que não doía. Minha energia vital era quase zero. Eu suportei por 2 segundos eu acho. E hoje quando tento alongar minha alma alguns dias parece que eu sinto a mesma dor. Viver sozinho é como permanecer deitado (relativamente confortável apesar de imóvel). Perdoar, insistir, se compadecer, confessar é tentar levantar de maca de novo e lutar contra a vontade de desistir, mesmo achando que não vai conseguir. Conviver e construir um relacionamento real é como uma reabilitação física. São músculos de paciência e altruísmo encurtados há muito tempo. Voltar para cama hospitalar era um alívio. Ela já estava moldada ao meu corpo.  Nos relacionamentos a maca do individualismo me chama, e te chama… E motivos não nos faltam pra abandonar tudo. Mas o impulso de ficar de pé é aquela hora que você pensa no que realmente quer pro resto da sua vida. { Na maca da auto-suficiência fica a ausência de intimidade e a cura da alma que as maratonas da vida reservam pra mim e pra você }. Tem dias que ficar emocionalmente de pé dói. E essa imagem me faz pra mim uma alusão perfeita do que é vencer a si mesmo nestes dias.

Testemunho escrito por Bianca Toledo

https://www.facebook.com/BiancaToledoOnline

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